The Artists Life - Christmas Angels

   Over the past year, seeing, or more to the point, being able to see, has been my main focus (no pun intended). If you remember, I began this year almost blind in my left eye. Believe it or not, I didn't notice any real difference at first. Then one day, while drinking a cup of tea (which blocked the vision of my left eye due to raising it to drink), and reading a book, I noticed the words I was viewing looked like I was reading through a funnel. I finally told my husband a few weeks later, when it wasn't improving, that I thought I needed a new pair of glasses. My husband whom has worn glasses much longer than I have and a family history of eye problems, told me to make an appointment with my eye doctor asap... like now! He very rarely "tells" me what to do, so I knew he was extremely serious.

   About a week later, my optometrist confirmed a preliminary diagnosis and promptly made an appointment for me at an eye surgery center in Portland about a week later. The diagnosis - a small hole in my macular which is part of my eye that's beneath the lens. My doctor and surgeon informed me that surgery was necessary or I'll lose sight in that eye completely. He informed me that he would insert a gas bubble into my eye and the pressure from it would close the hole. Needless to say, I was speechless from this consultation. However, he put me at ease and informed me he had done over a thousand of these same type of surgeries. I would be fine.

   Fast forward a few weeks later; the surgery went off without a hitch and I healed up just fine. The only downside to this process is that it accelerates the growth of a cataract to an extreme level - like within six months I would need cataract surgery. Fast forward again to last week; I had my cataract surgery and again my other phenomenal surgeon took care of me without even "batting an eye". While I'll need a new set of glasses in the next month, I can finally see out of both eyes. All the better to create and paint, my dears.

   Yesterday I had the chance to deliver Christmas cards as well as carol with my sole grand-daughter. We had a blast! As we walked around my neighborhood, we didn't even notice the chilly weather we've been having for the past few days.

   The bottom line is, we all have special gifts and talents to share with others to make their lives a little less sorrowful and that much better. Be sure to give a hug, or a smile, or even a casual hello. Don't let "just because it's Christmas" as an excuse to do it - practice it all year round. Spend time with someone who may not have the chance to spend time with friends or family this season. Spread the love and become a Christmas Angel. It will do you a whole heap of good as well.

   Until next time,
   Happy Holidays!
   Jill

The Artists Life - Wonder

   As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches, I am filled with a quandary; it's not a question as to whether to shop online or not, or what gift to buy, or just who to send cards to this year. I am swamped with mixed emotions. I realize that I'll never have the Christmases of my childhood back. In all reality, my childhood wasn't as bad as some other kids I knew, even though I lost my biological father at age five. Even at that young age, I had discovered art - I hadn't realized yet that it was an emotional as well as a creative outlet, but dang, was I having a blast! Looking back further, I never thought I would miss the loud, crazy chaos of a big family gathering. I'm a quiet person. So - what's my problem?

   I look out among the elderly people in my neighborhood and I know they won't be spending Christmas Day with anyone and I get instantaneously depressed. And I'm not even living their life. The days of having my own children to dote on are long gone. My youngest daughters kids are going to their fathers house for the holidays as well as vacation, so we'll be celebrating with them early. While I'll be celebrating Christmas Day with my other daughters family, her two children don't believe in Santa Claus anymore. We were all at a Christmas open house last weekend at a local transportation museum (which both kids love) and Santa arrived via a Cessna airplane. Even with all that hubbub, my granddaughter said to me afterwards, "I'm sure that guy who played Santa was good for the little kids, but he doesn't do it for me anymore." I wanted to cry. Our grand-kiddos are growing up, and it's getting a great deal more difficult to pull any wool over their eyes.

   The past is gone and the future hasn't arrived yet, so I wonder what this season will hold for us. I know it will contain the annual parties at several friends houses, church services and events, as well as visits with family and friends galore. However, my granddaughter said it best; "I just want to make people happy."

   One day at a time. I make myself happy with love, self-respect, and faith. I have to love myself before I can love anyone else. Note I didn't say "in love", but "love". If I was "in love" with myself instead of "loving" myself, I'd be a self-centered, egotistical bitch. Not fun. One way I made myself happy this week was continuing to dabble in my doodle series of works. I am happy with the results. Next month starts the sketchbook project that will end up in New York. I'm excited by the anticipation that I'm feeling now.

   As for another right now, since I've finished writing this weeks blog, it's off for a walk in the season's first snowfall. Fresh air, fresh snow, and fresh ideas for art works! Can't beat that!

   Until next time, may the small things that are ordinary bring you joy,
   Jill

The Artists Life - Windows To My Soul

   I just finished reading the book, Five Wishes - How Answering One Simple Question Can Make Your Dreams Come True, by Gay Hendricks. The author is at a party schmoozing, but he hates making small talk. He meets a fellow named Ed who asks him to "...imagine you're on your death bed, tonight or fifty years from now. Was your life a complete success? If you're life wasn't a complete success, what would be the things you'd wish had happened that would have made it a success?"

   Wow! How do you answer that? However you answer this pondering thought, this question penetrated to the heart of an issue he needed to face; What am I really doing here on this planet? What is my life purpose? Do I have a sacred mission? The author's first wish was for a long term loving relationship, which thank God, I have. Going on 33 years and still strong!

   Now take whatever wish you thought of and turn it into a goal, then bring it into the present tense. Right here, right now - as if it's happening at this moment. In the author's case, he could take that wish and say, "My life is a total success because I am enjoying a long and happy marriage with a woman I adore and who adores me. I'm enjoying a lifelong blossoming of passion and creativity with her." His wish did end up coming true because he decided to make a commitment to the woman he was with. He allowed love to grow. The experienced the same result with his second as well as his third wish, which was about totally completing tasks 100%, as well as completing a written record of everything of significance he learned while on Earth.

   Concluding his wishes were to feel the presence of God all the time; to know what divinity is and how the universe was created in addition to have the gift to truly savor life. He wanted to go beyond being here here now, for the magic of life happens in the now. Take it easy... breathe...

   For me, I can honestly say that I am content and successful in my day to day living. I've learned to call on God first everyday and meditate and I have my true soul mate. I've cleared the wreckage of my past, and I flow in the river of love daily. I continue to work at being genuinely happy and doing things for my own personal development. Still being able to create art after all these years, sharing it with others, as well as making a few dollars from it is just gravy in the grand scheme of things.

   "From the perspective of your death bed what matters in that your final breath comes in with the sweet satisfaction of a life fulfilled and goes out with the blessing of a life complete. Even in the perspective of right now, what matters is that your next breath energizes your intention to fulfill your destiny." The challenge is to change one's life. I was fortunate enough before it was too late to realize to take the action to change mine.

   Until next time,
   Jill

The Artists Life - Mapping My Journey

   The featured painting in today's post is one of my early works; Rainy Day Irises. The oil painting is also still one of my favorites. I was inspired to paint it while my two then-young children napped. I needed something to pass the time and it was absolutely pouring out on an early June afternoon. I peered out one of my living room windows and my gaze fell upon my flower garden. How beautiful, I thought - even in the rain. During that period of my art career, if you could call it that, I was using a wet technique of oil painting on canvas. Most of my subjects back then were either floral or landscapes and I used the local scenery as inspiration.

   In the late 80's and early 90's, I used to use a primer called Miracle White, that not only primed the canvas, but also kept it wet, so blending was much easier to do. When actually doing the painting, I would use light strokes and somewhat minimal paint. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, as my husband and I didn't have much money to spare back then and my supplies went farther! The real challenge with a wet technique, however, was if one used multiple strokes especially when combined with a substantial amount of oil paint, the result was usually a muddy mess. This process worked well for me at the time for several reasons; I could finish a painting in two hours or less, the canvas had a quicker than average drying time, and both of which were key with two kids under the age of four!

   The iris painting was a little different compared to the works I had done in the past. This painting was lavished with a thicker coat of primer than normal and before it was dry, I layered the background with a pale dark teal blue. I also used a painting knife as my primary tool. The entire process lasted just over an hour, but the satisfaction of a job well done has lasted me for more than 20 years. This painting is the only work of it's kind to have survived from that time period (1985-1995) that is still in my personal collection. Just about all of my works from those first 10 years were painted over, although a good number of smaller works (and one mural) did sell. By the early summer of 1995 was when I completed my degree in Fine Art. My professors had taught me detailed, dry techniques that I use to this day. And I must admit years later, that the dry process is far more forgiving than just one or two brush strokes.

   The wet / one stroke technique demands planning, clarity of thought, and allows zero room for second guessing a choice. There is only marginal area for correction. If the work is deemed a "mistake", then usually the entire canvas is painted over and the process begins again. The dry technique is a much slower, but less demanding process that does allow a person to change their mind and/or direction. It's also possible to paint over just a small section rather than the entire canvas.

   I, as was my art, changing in the Spring and Summer of 1995. Prior to that, a wet technique was all I really knew or was familiar with. It's similar to life that way - we do what we know to do - until we learn a better way. It's all in the journey.

   Until next time,
   Jill

The Artists Life - Art History 001

   Yesterday my husband Dave and I thoroughly enjoyed the company of our two oldest grandchildren. Our oldest daughter, was having a heck of a time with a migraine that came out of nowhere in the early morning hours and asked if we could take the kids until at least early evening. Sure... not a problem. The holidays and all that involves is right around the corner and I know we won't see the grand-kiddos on some weekends because they'll want to go shopping in Portland. Strike while the iron is hot. Time stands still for no one. Whatever.

   Since it was a beautiful sunny day, and even braving the temperatures in the mid-30's, we began our afternoon at the local playground so they could burn off a little energy. After about 45 minutes, and yours truly getting cold from bench sitting, we headed home for a late lunch. One can tell our oldest grand-kids are getting older - even though they're just over a year apart, they are so diverse from each other. Everything from music, to food, to movies. It is nearly impossible to get them to agree on something mutual. However, while my husband and grandson were being foodies in the kitchen, making some very creative muffins (and who knows what else), my granddaughter and I engaged in some art. She found a coloring book and markers in the "kid corner" of our living room and began finishing a swan picture she began last Spring.

   Out of the blue she asked, "When did people begin making pictures?" Wow... like wow. In an instant, my mind went rolling back through the decades to when I was in college and a class that was required for my art degree, Art History 101. How in the world am I going to explain, centuries - if not thousands of years - of creating to a 10-year old who thinks waiting more than 10 minutes for anything is "like... forever." Old school verses uber-millennial. Ironically, we bond together like Earth and water, so I'd tried psyching myself up that this won't be too difficult.

   "Well," I began, "people began drawing pictures on cave walls with burnt wood from fires, kinda like charcoal, of the animals they wanted to hunt for dinner. It was a way of communicating, planning, and praying so they would hopefully get some food."
   "Was that like before you guys were born?" she asked.
   "Oh no honey, it was more like after the dinosaurs left," I responded.
   "Whoa, THAT long ago?" she pondered.
   "Yes - then after the cave men, people moved to places like Babylon and Egypt. They used dried plants as paper, small pieces of burnt wood, and even other plants to make colored ink out of." As I was reeling this off, I couldn't help but notice how rusty my memory had gotten. "All kinds of people from way back used pictures and symbols and art work to communicate. Those symbols eventually became letters. People added sounds to the letters which became words as well as writing. Eventually, it evolved into computers, keyboards, and screens. But all this took several thousand years."

   Satisfied with my answer, thank goodness, I also realized that time has truly wrought many changes. If we didn't add the words, does the picture tell it's own story? My husband agreed with me where sometimes it does; sometimes not. There are instances where words are not necessary. At other times, it adds to the picture, even when we know full well what the subject is.

   The story can make pictures come alive. I had four doodles to chose from this week - one of rain drops, the second was of a sunrise over the ocean, a third was one of the seashells on one of the window sills in my studio, and finally a ladybug planter holding a Parade Rose. I chose the rose because I received it as a Mother's Day gift from my oldest daughter. I appreciate this gift a great deal because of the joy I receive when I think of my daughter and all the happy memories I have of her. My granddaughter reminds me of her as well... especially when trying to teach Art History 001!

   Until next time,
   Jill

The Artists Life - Visual Hopes

   Art is "engaged" work that is top-rooted in the issues and circumstances of our lives, whether political, ecological, or spiritual. I become a catalyst for creating positive futures as I nurture my hopes into visual action through my practice, processes, and projects. This is compassionate altruistic and transformative work. My visual hopes are actions that forge enlargements in different ways. Some are generally profound and imbued with subtlety. Some empower solidarity through collaborative exchange, while others address underlying misalignment's through direct activism.

   My work and artistic presence in the world is mainly derived at bringing beauty to public awareness. I stand up ad in for all that is beautiful in life. The critical needs of our planet that are going unmet is due to a lack of caring for the beauty that engulfs us. We pollute the air, seas, and land in some way - we all do. Pollution is the greatest suffering upon the Earth, as people - even in our own country - do not have clean water. The human psyche is hard-wired for beauty.

   The nature of my artistic "actions" is to display my art work in the hopes it will inspire viewers to seek beauty and to keep clean their corner of the world. God shapes my perspective of hope in that good always overcomes evil - as hokey as that sounds in these modern times.

   I believe it is important for me to keep creating. Exploring the nature of a doodle is part of my creative process now. How does a doodle change the world? By changing me and my feelings about any given day. As long as my outlook is positive and I effect others with my smile and genuine well-wishes, then I've made the world a better place - at least in my small corner of it.

   Until next time,
   Jill

The Artists Life - Wild Wonders

   The weather this week stormed in, quite literally, with heavy rains and almost hurricane wind gusts. Trees fell, limbs toppled onto power lines, and some folks were without power for five days. I prayed for the safety of my family as they all ventured out to work or their college classes. My youngest daughter found out she had no classes last Monday once she arrived at the university, which is a 45 minute drive one way. Ont the return home, she got stranded in the town of Searsport when a large tree fell and totally blocked Route 1. For a moment, she thought about taking other routes, but reports of debris blocking other ways home, made that option inaccessible. So, she did the next best thing - waited things out with other stranded travelers at the nearby Dunkin' Doughnuts. That's my girl!

   I feel extremely privileged to be able to work from home, especially on days like these. Even with that blessing, it was still difficult for me to concentrate on either painting or writing with the wind howling and the rain pelting hardily on my windows.  In the midst of all this, I'm in the process of changing things up yet again - stretching my creative muscles if you will. I completed my latest project, which was 30 abstract 7"x10" inch gouache paintings that will be sold as some really funky clothing and/or textile designs.

   I was chatting with a friend of mine to see if she still had power and was weathering the storm (as if I could do anything about it at that time). Somehow, after about 20 minutes, we got on to the subject of doodling. According to Wikipedia, a doodle is a drawing made while a person's attention is otherwise occupied. Doodles are simple drawings that can have concrete representational meaning or may just be composed of random and abstract lines, generally without ever lifting the drawing device from the paper, in which case it is usually called a "scribble". When I admitted to my friend that I never doodled before, my phone nearly dropped out of my hand by her reaction and surprise. "You've NEVER doodled before?!? You're kidding! I did it all the time in high school when I was bored. Try it - just put the pen to the paper and don't stop moving. At minimum, don't think too much about it."

   I've been reading a book entitled, "The Muse Is In: An owner's manual to your creativity" by Jill Badowsky. She highlights the book with quips and quotes and then inspires the reader to either compose a poem, draw a doodle, or do some free-writing about what the particular quote meant to them. This past Thursday, I gathered my drawing ink pens and chose the one with the thinnest nib. I was weary and unsure of myself. To ease my mind a little, I began with a scribble. After a minute or two, I reaffirmed to myself that what I was doing was not doodling!

  Okay - at that point, as short-lived as it was, I threw in the towel. To make matters worse, and adding to my distraction, there was some sort of construction going on across the street with all kinds of digging, trucks, and back-loaders. However, a few hours later after all the noise stopped, I reassessed my scribble. I began associating words with it; What do I see? How do I feel? Once I had these concrete ideas and concepts down, my scribble at least had a theme.

   After I was done scribbling, then doodling, and then drawing, I took out my gouache paints and added color to the composition. In the end, I really didn't know what to call my work that I just completed. I kinda labeled it an awkward doodle-painting. The piece is not like any of my other works and I'm still not sure whether I even like it or not. To be honest, I never thought of doodling as work. Even so, I'm finding it difficult to just "Let go and let it happen".

   I have no idea what will come out next.
   Until next time,
   Jill