Daily painting blog - day #13. Emotionally, I've come full spectrum. I have hit bottom and am drowning in depression. I couldn't continue painting. Just after lunch, I flipped the painting over so it was face down on my table in my studio. I didn't even want to look at it.
I broke down into tears and wept all afternoon. Black thoughts crowded my mind - I felt useless and full of self pity. It felt like a great overwhelming grief. I was drained and felt horrible having left the piece unfinished. I beat myself up for not accomplishing my goal. What was I doing? Do I even want to continue doing this? Was I being unrealistic in doing a painting a day? Was the painting good or was it shit? Will people understand what I'm trying to accomplish?
Moreover, who is this tyrant that pummels me? The Sea Monster... (all I see is the monster in me during these times).
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